home
about

this comic by The Oatmeal has a few people I follow nodding, but I disagree that this is the way it has to be.

for instance, let me share with you my favourite voicemail. it's 9 seconds long (3 of which are spent hanging up) and gets the point across. I like my phone conversations the same way. either you're getting something done, or you're wasting my time.

that wasn't so painful, was it?

let's look at the comic point by point.

  1. The Courtesies

    who are you calling? here's all the courtesies you need: hi.

    after that I'm already getting impatient, and so is the person on the other side.

  2. The Impulsive

    why not say "I'll think about it?" or even default to "no"? it's not very hard—I think even more people have problems with being non-committal.

  3. The Jagged

    if your conversations are so meandering that whose turn it is to talk becomes a problem, maybe you should meet for coffee instead.

  4. The Pauses

    HANG. UP.

  5. The (complete lack of) Body Language

    hold on…

    is it really that hard? how do people communicate in text without constantly misunderstanding each other?

    even though we can't see the wood saw anymore I'd still be pretty happy that someone so excited to see me is on the other side of a very long phone connection rather than standing in front of me.

  6. The Distracted

    HANG. UP.

  7. The Lecturer

    you're too busy to be lectured. even if it's not true, you've got better things to do. ignoring someone is rude, being too busy to be on the phone is common

  8. The Neverending Conversation1

    loved that conversation so much, but can't talk anymore? tell them it's been great and you'd enjoy picking up where you left off after your vocal cords have had their beauty sleep.

  9. The Anxious

    I know a lot of socially-inept people who can't take the hint that I'm trying to detach myself from the call. here's what you do: gradually decrease your niceness and verbosity. "So anyway, I really appreciate the call" … "Well it's been nice chatting with-" … "Hey, I'm heading out" … "Goodbye" … *click*

    really, this is not a problem exclusive to the phone. I have more trouble with detaching myself from conversations with people in person.

  10. The Epic Goodbye

    The Oatmeal said it himself: Just hang up already. it's not that hard.

there's no reason the phone has to be so bad. unlike other things, it's possible to fix with effort from just one of the players.

1 I assumed this meant: "those awesome conversations that last until 3am" as opposed to "jesus this guy won't stop talking"

posted on monday march 1st, 2010 at 15:48 (PST)